I know, by writing this post, I will never, ever, get any work from HORIBA Medical.
But this marketing effort is so bad, I have to share it … in an effort, my faithful readers, to ensure you never, ever, ever, ever write anything like this.
Introducing the next generation of innovation which will revolutionize the way we provide total solutions for Healthcare in the future.
So I was at HIDA last week and HORIBA, an exhibitor, rented the inside of the elevator doors for their marketing message. The first time I saw it, it didn’t sink in.
What did I just read?
I must not have read it correctly.
The second time I really tried to uncover some nugget about the company, digesting each word … because, surely, no one would spend thousands of dollars to say absolutely nothing. And here’s what I got:Introducing: Oh, maybe a new product!
the next generation: Oh, an update of an existing product.
of innovation: Yeah, I get it. So what is it?
which will revolutionize: Really? Still no answer?
the way we provide total solutions: Ok, this is a joke, right?
for Healthcare: Well, duh, we’re at a healthcare show. I got the healthcare part before we even started. (The picture of the doctor gave it away.)
in the future: I can’t believe what I just read.
HORIBA, how did this happen? When we visit your HORIBA Medical homepage, we get a reasonably cogent thought:
From the medical frontline (Point of Care Treatment) to testing centers, HORIBA’s hematology analyzers and clinical chemistry analyzers help to construct the ideal diagnostic system.
HORIBA (and friends), when you talk, say something meaningful. Say something my mother-in-law can understand. Tell me a story.
I’m not looking for your next generation of innovation. And I’m not looking for your total solutions.
Please, if you need to interrupt my elevator time, say something that makes sense.
Because I’ve got a list of things to do today. And deciphering your message isn’t one of them.